You guys asked for it so you got it!! Episode two of “Playing The Dating Game”.
We would love to hear your thoughts and some of your dating nightmares. Leave your comments below!!
So I had a date with this Director I met on Tinder. Yes, I’ve dabbled in the dating app life.. you know you have too. Anyway, I have this date which I’m really looking forward to because it’s winter in Manhattan, I’m bored and his pics were cute. On top of that he’s taking me to a wine bar in the East Village that I’ve been wanting to try, Garret East.
I walk in and don’t see him anywhere so I shoot him a text. He responds that he’s a couple minutes late, which is fine, so I order a drink and sit down at the bar. He walks in… 6’5, dark hair with a scruffy beard, joggers, a black tee & sneakers. I already have hearts in my eyes. He greets me and suggests we sit in a booth. He grabs the drink I had ordered and transfers the tab to his card, then he holds his arm out for me to grab it, what a gentleman. We sit down in the booth and start having an amazing conversation.
“I love your blog, I have a shoot coming up that you should style for me, we could actually collaborate on a lot of things if you’re interested,” he said.
I replied, “Definitely! I would love to do that, just let me know what the shoot is and I can start putting some ideas together for you.”
“I really think this could be great, you’re beautiful and you’re talented.” He knew all the right things to say it would seem…
The night went on from there, drink after drink…. Amidst all the amazing conversation we were having he hits me with, “So I have something to tell you…” In my head I was like “RUNNNN!!!” In reality I was like, “sure, what is it?”
“I have a wife, and we are separated but she still lives with me.”
At this point I still had wine in my mouth, which I hadn’t swallowed yet, and was trying really hard not to spit out all over him in disbelief. Finally I swallow and say “Oh…?”
He tries to explain, “Yea, we got married so young and things just didn’t work out so we are getting a divorce but she still lives with me till she gets on her feet.”
I decided to give him a pass because honestly I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to go through something like that, especially in a city as expensive as New York. I also know from experience being with someone for a very long time won’t erase the love you have for one another, although you may not be “in love” anymore.
Then he says, “But that’s not why you can’t come home with me tonight.” THANK GOD I didn’t have wine in my mouth at this time because I wold have spit it all over him. “Excuse me? Who said that I was going home with you??? That’s a little presumptuous don’t you think!?!?!”
He says, “Well I was just telling you that because I have Chlamydia from another girl I’m sleeping with.”
Cue me laughing hysterically in his face for almost a minute which is a really long time while he awkwardly stares at me from across the booth.
“SO let me get this straight…. you have an estranged wife living with you while you’re simultaneously having unprotected sex with someone and taking me out on a date all in the same week?”
“Yea so what’s the big deal? I’m definitely going to have sex with you anyway.”
Now I’m infuriated and I’m standing up in front of him, “Oh Really? Oh Really?? Oh is that what you think??” While he’s all calm, “yea, and you’re not very intimidating, are you trying to yell? you’re practically smiling and you’re bringing unwanted attention to us.”
“UHM NO, this is just my face when I’m angry, I laugh when I’m nervous and everything you’re saying is blowing my mind and not in a good way.”
At this point the waiter comes over and is like, “is everything ok?” And he replies with “yea” and I yell over both of them “OH IS IT OK? This man has a wife, a mistress and Chlamydia!!!!!” Then he starts laughing at me and as the waiter is still standing there I grab my wine and throw it in his face and storm out.
I get outside and my adrenaline is pumping so hard that I just burst out laughing. I should probably go back inside and thank him, because I’ve always wanted to throw a drink in someone’s face, but instead I gather myself together, and call Jess.. she’s going to die.
“I have the perfect guy for you.” This is a phrase I hear several times a day from family members, friends, business associates, not to mention complete strangers on the street noticing there is no ring on my finger. This day in particular it came from Ashley, one of my closest friends. She was really trying to sell me on him…
“He is self-made, hardworking, motivated, handsome, dresses well, his parents are first generation from Europe like your parents. You will have a ton of things in common. He saw your Instagram and he is obsessed with you. Please give him a chance.”
His name was John, his nationality was Italian, he was 33 years old and owned a construction company. I did like the qualities that Ash had mentioned to me so I said, “Fine Ash. Give him my number.”
After about 2 weeks of ‘getting to know me’ phone calls I accepted John’s invitation for dinner. He was a complete gentleman and offered to pick me up from my place in Brooklyn. He showed up at 8pm in his brand new white Range Rover and rang the doorbell. How exciting! He rang the bell instead of the lame text message stating he was outside. I came out to meet him and he opened the passenger side door so I could get in before he walked over to his side.
“You are even more beautiful in person than you are in your pictures.” I couldn’t help but to blush. Maybe my friend actually got it right and I would have a great time tonight.
We started driving into Manhattan to have dinner at Del Posto when he hit a huge pothole in the street. I saw the alert light up on his dashboard that he needed air in his tire. I instantly felt bad because I knew he would have to change the tire. He looked at me and didn’t say a word and pulled over to get out of the car. I got out of the car too, to take a look at the tire. Yes, it was definitely a blow out. I looked over at him again and he still hadn’t said a word. Wow, he is really annoyed right now. His face was stone cold.
“It happens from time to time.” I said trying to comfort him. It was just a flat tire. Not that big of a deal. But he still did not say a word to me.
He got down on his hands and knees and started to take a look at the tire to get ready to change it. A stranger on the street approached us and said, “Hey man. Do you need some help with that?” John didn’t flinch.
The man looked over at me and said, “Do you guys need help changing the tire?” I looked over at John assuming he did not hear the man’s question and I said loudly, “Hey John. This guy wants to know if you need any help.”
After I said that John jumped up to his feet with a crazy look on his face. He rushed over to me and got about an inch from my face and screamed on the top of his lungs, “THIS IS A ONE MAN FUCKING JOB JESSIKA! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT IN THE CAR!!” Then unfazed, proceeded to change the tire.
Me, and the man, looked at each other in disbelief. My face was stuck in shock. My eyes open really wide and my jaw on the ground. The stranger’s face was a look of pity for me. He probably thinks this crazy man is my boyfriend and he beats me up on the regular.
The strange man, still staring at me, walked backwards about 4 steps then turned around and sprinted off leaving me there with this maniac. I almost wanted to shout after him and say “Well don’t leave me with this psycho!” But I didn’t. Instead, I stood there like a deer in headlights. I can’t believe he just did that. Is this real life? Did this actually just happen? I didn’t know whether to yell back at him angrily or what to do. I did the only real thing I knew how to do when I felt disrespected. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and stormed off with an attitude. Kind of similar to the walk that Angela Bassett did in the movie ‘Waiting To Exhale’ after she set her cheating husband’s car on fire.
I got about 5 struts away and of course John came running after me. “Jessika wait! Please don’t go. I want to take you to dinner. Please give me another chance. I have just been working really hard lately and I have been exhausted. My temper just came out because I wanted this date to go perfectly and it frustrated me when you asked if I needed help because I can change a tire by myself. Don’t make a big deal. I just raised my voice a little bit. It’s not that serious. You are being dramatic. Please get back in the car so we can have a nice dinner together.”
I already had my hand up in the air hailing a cab. “I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU, IKE TURNER!” I shouted back at him as I hopped into the cab. The second we drove off my phone was ringing back to back and no surprise, it was John. Incoming texts one after the other saying, “Please come back. Please meet me at the restaurant. I really like you. Please give me a chance.” Was this guy nuts? I wouldn’t give him another chance if he was the last man on Earth!
Another incoming call and it was Ashley. “Jess, what is going on? John just called me saying you overacted about something he said and now you won’t have dinner with him. What is your problem? Are you being a bitch to him or something?”
“I OVERREACTED??” I asked her very frustrated. I explained the story to her and her response to me was, “Well that doesn’t sound too far fetched. He had to go to anger management classes about 2 years ago for some trouble he got into for fighting some guy on the highway over a road rage incident.”
“Ashley!! You couldn’t tell me this before I agreed to go out with him?”
That was the first and last time I let her set me up with a guy. I then scrolled down to his name in my phone and had to hit him with BLOCK CONTACT. But now this one knows where I live, dammit. I called Amanda right after I hung up with Ashley. She answered right away, “Hey what happened? I thought you had a date with that Italian guy.” “Well he turned out to be a raging maniac and I am putting Ashley on timeout for the next few weeks for setting me up with him. Meet me at Sweet Chick in LES because I got a story to tell.”