Breaking The Ice With Plenty Of Fish: From First Chat To First Date

Thank you to Plenty of Fish for sponsoring this post, check out their website HERE.

Let’s be honest, meeting someone is HARD, and it’s no secret that the #1 motivating factor in whether or not we’re “hearting” someone on a dating app is all based on physical attraction. The question now becomes, how long will that physical attraction satiate us until we realize we have nothing in common besides the fact that we both live in the same city? Conversations are CRUCIAL. 74% of singles find good conversation to be a better indication of chemistry than physical attraction, and 87% of singles found someone more attractive after a conversation. I’ve partnered with Plenty of Fish, the second most downloaded dating app in the US, to give you a few pointers on how to break the ice both in-app & in person! Here’s a screen shot of my profile!

More than half of singles say that the way to identify a compatible partner on a dating app is by conversation, and about the same amount say they can fall in love after that first chat. Making  the first move, i.e. sending the first message in-app, can be daunting. I know women who will NEVER be the first to reach out, but the truth is, you don’t know anything about each other at this point, except what you look like via your most flattering photos. So who cares? Here’s another stat you should know. 58% of singles say bad grammar is a bigger turnoff than bad sex. YIKES! I know it really grinds my gears when someone misuses “you’re”, so break out YOUR grade school English before you send that text!

Now let’s talk about topics of discussion & just plain etiquette when it comes to communication. We ALL get busy but there’s nothing worse than a bad texter. Don’t respond to my text 26 hours later, that’s just rude, and I think we can all agree that leaving a text on “read” is the most annoying text habit. In terms of discussion topics, both in-app & in person, I’m going to let you in on TWO hot buttons that everyone’s completely DONE exchanging opinions on. 51% of people say they are OVER talking about Trump. Completely agree, let’s keep this convo light to start, unless you’re a Trump supporter…. 37% of women said they’d rather have bad sex for the rest of their lives than date a Trump supporter, compared to 30% of men. 20% of people said they are OVER talking about specialty diets. Unless you’re a strict vegan and he wants to take you to a BBQ joint, just chill on the meat is murder talk for now.

Let’s take that first chat to first date, shall we? It’s no surprise that 78% of singles prefer dinner, drinks or coffee over a concert, movie or experience. We all get those first date jitters, but picking something like a concert is distracting! It shouldn’t matter as much where you are, but who you’re with, and I’ve definitely gone on some interesting first dates. I’d say the most memorable was a Turkish Bath in the East Village. Let me tell you, being in a bathing suit in the dead of winter (did not apply self tanner that day) was intimidating, but my date was great and made me feel SO comfortable! We talked as we walked from sauna, to steam room, to cold plunge, and then he took me to dinner afterwards!

Now it’s time for me to get a little personal here, and tell you about one of my best first dates. We had met on an app about a year ago and had been talking NON-STOP for weeks, and finally found ourselves both free on the same Saturday night. I was EXTREMELY nervous for this date, what if he fell flat of this image of him that I’d dreamt up in my head? Honestly, it happens a lot when all your communication is via text, and you don’t know how someone actually acts in real life. Anyway, he asked me to meet him at this little speak easy, very chill bar a couple blocks away from my apartment. I had the worst butterflies in my stomach as I walked down my street. I turned the corner to open the door, when I locked eyes with him, he was waiting outside for me. An instant smile came across my face, followed by a little giggle, I thought he was so cute. Our chemistry didn’t end there, we talked for hours, we closed out the bar, then went to a diner because we didn’t want to leave each other just yet. I ended up getting home from the diner at 5am, got some sleep and met up with him later that day to lay out in the park until almost midnight! He was handsome, but our conversation and vibe together made him 1000% more attractive to me!

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